Background on Robert E. Lee
Connection with the Ware Family

       Researched & written by Judy C. Ware
© Judy C. Ware February 2009

Robert Edward Lee was born January 19, 1807 at “Stratford” in Virginia.  His father was General “Lighthorse” Harry Lee and his mother was Anne Hill Carter.  His family later moved to the area around Arlington (in Alexandria, Virginia) which is where he grew up and became childhood friends with his future wife, Mary.

Mary Randolph Custis was the only daughter of George Washington Parke Custis, and she was the great granddaughter of George Washington’s wife, Martha.  She was born at “Annefield” – near Berryville, Virginia.  She, also, later moved to Arlington, and it was there (in 1829) that Robert courted her.  Although they were married in 1831, their relationship was close since childhood.  They even planted trees together at Arlington as a sign of their affection for each other when Robert was 12 and Mary was 10 years of age.  In later years, when Mary’s father passed away, they inherited Arlington; a beautiful, stately home.

Robert & Mary had seven children together - three sons and four daughters.  Their names were:  (1) George Washington Custis Lee, (2) William Henry Fitzhugh Lee, (3) Robert (Rob) E. Lee, Jr., (4) Mary Custis Lee, (5) Eleanor (Agnes) Agnes Lee, (6) Anne (Annie) Carter Lee, and (7) Mildred (Milly) Childe Lee.  Oddly enough, none of the Lee daughters ever married.

One of the oldest, Mary, was born in 1835 and Josiah’s eldest daughter (Elizabeth Alexander Ware) was born in 1837.   Not only were these two girls close in age, but with Annefield in close proximity to Josiah’s home of Springfield, it was only natural that the women would have known each other.  Even more so, however, was the case with Josiah’s youngest daughter named Lucy Balmain.  She was born in 1839 and both Mary Lee and Lucy Ware had connections through the George Washington family. 

Lucy married Edward Parke Custis Lewis a favorite nephew of the General.  He was also the grandson of Nelly Custis {Lewis}, the adopted daughter of George Washington.   Lucy and Edward lived at Audley (a beautiful home in the Berryville area), and Nelly not only visited her grandson there - she eventually died at Audley.

Lucy’s friend, Mary Lee, also had tremendous ties to the Washington family.  Her mother, Mary Anna Randolph Custis Lee, was the niece of Nelly Custis Lewis and the great granddaughter of Martha Washington.

Over the years, both of Josiah’s daughters corresponded with Mary Lee.  When Elizabeth’s only child died of yellow fever,  Mary wrote her a beautiful condolence letter in which she mentioned her obvious attachment to Lucy and also included a picture of General Lee.        

Josiah mentioned in several letters to his son, James, of his acquaintance with Robert E. Lee.  He clearly knew him well.   There is even an except from “Boots and Saddles” written by Capt. Stevenson in 1897 which states that when Josiah heard that the private property of some of the Union officers had been captured on the retreat from Berryville, he “mounted his horse and followed General Lee to Chambersburg, Pennsylvania and obtained a letter from him requiring those having the property to deliver it to Col. Ware so it could be returned to the proper owners; which was done.”

It is also well recorded that General Lee often worshiped at Grace Episcopal Church and there is even a marker there today (by a hitching post) that commemorates where he tethered his horse, Traveler.  Right before the Battle of Gettysburg, both Lee and Longstreet attended services at this church – an event which was captured by the artist Mort Kunsler in his painting titled “God Be With Us.”

There was even a connection between Josiah’s father and grandfather (James Ware II and III) who were acquainted with Robert’s father (General "Lighthorse" Harry Lee).  The following anecdote was passed on through the family - - -

There was a meeting where General “Lighthorse” Harry Lee was having a conversation with Morgan Alexander, Josiah’s grandfather.  When the discussion came around to the subject of fine horses, Lee said, “Man is a presumptuous creature.  He prides himself upon his similitude to his Maker and arrogates to himself superiority in all the good qualities, but in my opinion, a fine horse is by far the nobler animal, and is superior in dignity and appearance, as well as honesty.”      Morgan Alexander replied, “True – man would not compare in many things with a fine horse, but a fine woman is equal to anything in creation.”    

“Pho!” said Lee, “Your passions blind and mislead your judgement.  Man is bad enough, but woman - - psha! psha!”

When Robert E. Lee took command of the Confederate forces in Virginia during the Civil War, Josiah was a Colonel in the Virginia Militia.  There were several occasions when they exchanged letters and although Josiah was advanced in age, he was more than willing to serve with Lee in any capacity he felt might be helpful.

References:

Original long letter of Cornelia Ware Anker (1945) - This letter is a goldmine of first-hand intimate family facts & remembrances.  Cornelia was the daughter of Sigismund Stribling Ware (son of Josiah William Ware). She had personally transcribed some family letters (written between 1799 and 1831) that had been passed on to her, and then added to that her own memories and recollections of family history.  This letter is owned by James & Judy Ware.

Marriage Certificate of Lucy Balmain Ware and Edward Parke Custis Lewis.  March 23, 1859. The original is actually contained within a small book which is owned by James & Judy Ware.

Letter from Mary Lee to Elizabeth A. Britton- Written Dec. 26, 1865.  It is a beautiful condolence letter concerning the death of Elizabeth’s husband and baby.  Mary was Robert E. Lee’s daughter.  Original letter owned by James & Judy Ware

THE PHOTOGRAPHIC HISTORY OF THE CIVIL WAR ARMIES & LEADERS Written & edited by: Robert S. Lanier   The Fairfax Press, New York by Crown Publishers  - 1983

Painting by Mort Kunstler in Berryville, Virginia entitled “God Be With You” – There is also a picture of Jim Ware with the artist when he signed the print which we purchased in 2002.

Mrs. Robert E. Lee by Rose Mortimer Ellzey MacDonald, Ginn and co. Boston, 1939

The Proceedings of the Clarke County Historical Association Volume XXIII 1983-1984 copyright 1985 by the Clarke County Historical Association – printed by Commercial Press, Stephens City, Virginia 22655   

The Proceedings of the Clarke County Historical Association Volume IX  1949  printed by The Blue Ridge Press, Berryville, Virginia  1950.  

Nelly Custis – Child of Mount Vernon   by: David L. Ribblett  copyright 1993   The Mount Vernon Ladies’ Association   Mount Vernon, Virginia  

The Shenandoah Valley 1861-1865  (The Destruction of the Granary of the Confederacy) by: Michael G. Mahon    Published by Stackpole Books, Pennsylvania   copyright 1999  

Armies & Leaders – The Photographic History of the Civil War , Managing Editor: Robert S. Lanier, Published by The Fairfax Press, New York  copyright 1983

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